Tuesday, December 21, 2004


Communication for some is everything. Families are for eternity. What ties us to one another, is the love we have for each other. ;D Posted by Hello

Monday, December 13, 2004

Why do women cry

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.
Finally he asked God.
He said, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said: " When I made the woman she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
And finally, I gave her a tear to shed.
This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Monday, November 29, 2004

For You Janj (a poem of advice)

There are little eyes upon you
And they're watching night and day,
There are little ears that quickly
Take in every word you say;
There are little hands all eager
To do everything you do,
And a little boy who's dreaming
Of the day he'll be like you.

You're the little fellow's idol,
You're the wisest of the wise;
In his little mind about you
No suspicion ever rises;
He believes in you devoutly,
Holds that all you say and do
He will say and do in your way
When he's grown up like you.

There's a wide-eyed little fellow
Who believes you're always right,
And his ears are always open
And he watches day and night,
You are setting an example
In everything you do,
For the little boy who's waiting
To grow up just like you.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Godly E-mail

I recieved this one through e-mail. I really think there's truth in this story so i want to publish it in my blog so more people can read it here.

There once was a man named George Thomas, pastor in asmall New England town.
One Easter Sunday morning hecame to the Church carrying a rusty, bent, old birdcage, and set it by the pulpit. Eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began tospeak..."I was walking through town yesterday when Isaw a young boy coming toward me winging this birdcage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wildbirds, shivering with cold and fright.

I stopped the lad and asked, "What you got there,son?" "Just some old birds," came the reply."What are you gonna do with them?" I asked."Take 'em home and have fun with 'em," he answered."I'm gonna tease 'em and pull out their feathers tomake 'em fight. I'm gonna have a real good time.""But you'll get tired of those birds sooner or later.What will you do?""Oh, I got some cats," said the little boy. "They likebirds. I'll take'em to them."

The pastor was silent for a moment. "How much do you want for those birds, son?" "Huh?? !!! Why, you don't want them birds, mister.They're just plain old field birds. They don't sing.They ain't even pretty!""How much?" the pastor asked again.The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy andsaid, "$10?"The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a tendollar bill. He placed it in the boy's hand. In aflash, the boy was gone.

The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot. Setting the cage down, he opened thedoor, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free.

Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story.One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation.Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap,used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!""What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked. Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!""And what will you do when you get done with them?"Jesus asked."Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly.

"How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked."Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good.Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you.They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you. You don't want those people!!""How much?" He asked again.Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your blood,tears and your life."Jesus said, "DONE!"

Then He paid the price.

The pastor picked up the cage he opened the door and he walked from the pulpit.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

The Emptiness and Beyond

Sometimes I wonder if I’m living my life the way I should. I know it’s confusing and strange for me to ask but … did I so something wrong? Or did God just know within Himself that I’m strong enough to handle the burden.
I’m thinking it’s the latter.
I try not to ask this question. It’s embarrassing for people (especially those I actually know.) to read about excerpts in my life I’m not exactly proud of. But sometimes, it just pops in my head … then I start to think … and when I think about it more and more … I start feeling the depression egging its way on me. It’s like it swallows me entirely and I can’t think of anything else but it. Then, it gets worse! I act upon it. Everybody around me would then actually see the manifestations of my depressive state. I get utterly grouchy to that point that I want everyone around me to be grouchy as well. Provoking them to be insanely LIVID so that I could get someone to shout at me to pull me back to reality.
I wish to rid of myself of this dreaded disease. If only I knew how….
So, can anyone refer me to a good shrink???

Saturday, October 23, 2004

A Poem for Chad

Tonight's the night Chad died
I struggle not to cry.
It's sad to think a day ago
He was still so alive.

Sad to think that Janj and I
talk and dreamed and waited.
Sad to think that we had planned
of them for years ahead.

Prepared for them excitedly,
Pondered what to give them.
Little things parents do,
Of little angels like them.

Two sets of baby pillows,
to rest their baby heads.
Two sets of baby blankets,
to keep them warm in bed.

Booties and mittens,
Little caps for tiny tots.
Two sets of itty bitty bears,
To welcome them on the spot.

But never have i imagined
that one of them would leave.
Saying goodbyes were always hardest
So hard for me to breathe

The pain... the hurt and rage i felt
Not seeing them together.
So weird, they look exactly alike
But yet they are so different

Could never understand what happened
why he had to leave.
Praying in vain, "make him come back!
Back here close to me."

It's been two years since it had happened
And yet i still remember
How painful tears and memories
sorrow left so somber.

I wish i could forgive myself
From answering an unknown friend
And wish heaven could forgive
That voice on the other end.

Monday, October 18, 2004


When we went to Pagudpod, Ilocos Norte! My husband and I had a real great time there. The beach was absolutely fabulous! Super ganda and not too crowded unlike Boracay. Posted by Hello

Sunday, October 17, 2004


Me and my son Josh at his first Wedding Stint as a Bible Bearer at age 1 1/2.  Posted by Hello

Nursery Rhymes for Baby Josh

Nickels and dimes
I love you in rhythms
I love you in rhymes
I love you in laughter
Here and ever after
Then I love you a millionGazillion more times!I

love you so, you love me back
I love your toes, your knees, your nose
And everywhere a big kiss goes
I kiss you tons, and know what then
I have to kiss you once again.

Okay Na Ba?

I labored all day, well actually a couple of hours, to make my site look like this. Ganda ba? I hope you like it.

I know its not much but i really made an effort. Haay!

I feel so accomplished.

*pathetic ba*

Sunday, October 10, 2004

The Special Child

The child, yet unborn, spoke with the Father.

"Lord, how will I survive in the world? I will not be like other children. My walk may be slower, my speech harder to understand. I may look different. What is to become of me?"

The Lord replied to the child: "My precious one. Have no fear. I will give you exceptional parents. They will love you because you are special, not inspite of it. Though your path through life will be difficult, your reward will be greater. You have been blessed with a special ability to love, and those whose lives you touch will be blessed because you are special."

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Getting hitched

My very very good friend RC is getting married this saturday. That got me into thinking. Nakakatakot na ang buhay. Growing pains and responsibilities. Everybody seems to be getting married or at least plan on getting married. I shouldn't argue, right. After all, i am married.
It just made me look back on the good old days when you have nothing to worry but yourself and the biggest problem you have ever encountered is where you and your friends plan to go on saturday night and all you have to do is extednd a palm a PUFF! instant money!
nakakamiss lang. Ngayon kc it's all budget this and budget that and pay for this and pay for that and do this and that! Hay! nkakaloka!
But i guess everybody has to go through this change of pace, and life.
I remember how stupid and silly we were when we hang out. No worries. Party to the max! Tambay kung saan saan and drinks galore all the way.
It's nice to reminisce. It makes you feel young.
Rose ann, i wish nothing else but your happiness with the beginning of your new life with Iraan. Sana naman there will still be time for us to catch up on things and take a break on life and set things on slow mo.
haay! i miss your company na talaga. I love you bru!

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Friendship Etiquettes 101

My very good friend 2pe had an accident. He dislocated his ankle while he was playing basketball and he has to undergo an operation. That’s pretty serious. I wanted to go to the hospital immediately after his wife texted me but I guess it won’t be practical for me to just barge in there as if I was the only person who cared for him. It made me think, it’s the family’s time, not for friends. I resolved into going there after the operation has been done. When he's in his room lying comfortably (i hope) in his bed then make him laugh and sign his cast. Yes, that would be the right thing to do.
For me that time would be for the family. After all, family is family. Nothing could ever break that. Its in the blood. With friends, they come in second. Sure friendship forms a strong bond between the people involved in the relationship that they almost treat each other as a family would treat one another. BUT, there goes the operative word. ALMOST, as in not quite there but within reaching distance.
So to Balong, get well soon. I'll come and visit you with Janjie after the operation. good luck to you. Missing your company Balong! Love you!

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Loving your Husband on your Birthday!

My birthday's almost over and i am now officially old!
Yesterday i was telling myself that my birthday's just going to be another normal and uneventful day. That i won't make a big fuss over it since my husband went home to Nova with our son and im going to spend the day alone ... trying to have some quality time with myself then join my family later when i've already pampered myself. And i did just that.
I woke up at 9:30 in the morning, (a very late hour of the day for me.) and took everything by stride. I was trying to decide what to wear to Krystel's debut when the phone rang. It was my husband, telling me he's on his way home to pick me up. 2 hours passed and i was trying not to be annoyed with his lateness when he finally made it. i was still in the room concentrating hard on the movie i was watching although i was too aware that he was already there. i tried to make "pakipot" 'coz it was,after all,my birthday. he greeted me with his exuberant "happy birthday" and told me traffic was murder. so he suggested we better get a move on to avoid a more chaotic ride. so i went inside our room to get my bag when ... VOILA! Tulips on the bed plus an extra grin on his face and a more romantic "happy birthday" followed. Haaay! I was too giddy for words.
I guess i better tell you that my husband never gives a girl flowers. the very first time he gave me flowers was on the day that they made "pamanhikan" and nothing followed that 'cept now. he's not really that showy of his emotions, especially when we're around people, that's just the way he is. But when he surprises you with his sweetness he turns it up a notch higher than expected. 'Coz when it's your birthday he completely delivers.
Last year he concocted a party for me and he himself did the cooking! eventhough i didn't want to celebrate my birthday he still did it b'coz he just wanted to. 2 years ago, he treated me and my friends to a comedy bar because he knew i was beginning to feel depressed from not seeing my college buddies.('coz i was 7 mos pregnant at that time.) 3 years ago, when we were only going out, i got so frustrated at my barkada 'coz none of them could come with me to my blow-out. he hugged me and single-handedly organized a gimmick within 30 min. so that we could just celebrate my birthday. (it was fun, we, his parents, cousins and friends had a real blast!)
So you see, eventhough we argue about silly things, and i get worked up of his wisecracks, in the end he's still that man who can make me smile when im at my lowest, make me smile just because, make me smile thinking of the days ahead.
Hmmmmm... i wonder what he's gonna do next year???

Thursday, September 23, 2004

75 Rules for Girls

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.
4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
6. Don't force an attraction.
7. Slower is better.
8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
9. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order.
11. Don't settle.
12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?
14. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.
16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.
18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.
20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.
21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
23. Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.
24. Be honest and upfront.
25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.
26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on).
27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).
28. There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of them...flee.
29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.
30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself -- double-standard.
31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!
34. Don't compete with other women, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.
35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying, let him go.
36. Actions speak louder than words.
37. Never let a man define who you are.
38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.
39. Never borrow someone else's man.
40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.
42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time.
43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1person in your life. 44. Love is a verb ...
45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.
46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
47. All men are NOT dogs.
48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.
50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.
51. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complementary...not supplementary.
53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.
55. Never become your man's "therapist".
56. When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions.
57. A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end it - but it takes two to make it work.
58. Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn't do for you.
59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted.
60. Give him his space...let him go out with his boys, don't pressure him to spend time with you, You cant force a man to hang out with you.
61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't.
62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
63. Never move into his mother's house.
64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.
65. Never co-sign for a man.
66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.
67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.
68. Never let a man mess up your credit.
69. When it's time to let go; let go.
70. Good men should be treated like good men.
71. Don't play games.
72. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that youneed.
73. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
74. Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.
75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Leaving Behind

My brother boarded his plane bound for Qatar today, he's headed for his first job after he graduated from college. Days before he's scheduled departure I already told myself that I wasn't going to cry. That I wasn't going to miss him events I loved the way he would tell funny jokes and stories when the family has nothing to do. I love how he passionately argues his way thru every stupid news feature he saw on t.v. How he would talk animatedly about what he was currently playing on his ps2. I broke my word. I cried when my mom urged us to pray for kuya's safe trip. I couldn't help it. I'll miss him a lot. It suddenly dawned on me that things were starting to change in our lives. And I felt a bit queasy. I didn't like that. But we are getting older. I guess it was just a matter of time. I hope we make it thru ok.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

I Was Raised on Sesame Street

≈♥≈
I was raised by the Children’s Television Workshop. So, it is not surprising that, as a grown up, I am made up of different puppet personalities, each a character in Sesame Street.
I am Cookie Monster. I am gluttony’s child. Even though I am already full, I continue to eat. With my googly eyes and mile-wide mouth, I long to digest all of the world’s resources.
I am Big Bird. The phallic-ness of that statement cannot be disregarded. Like the typical Filipino male, I consider the largeness of my penis important. To be a man is to be a penis.
I am Mister Snuffleuppegus. As a child, I knew I existed. The children I played with recognized my existence. But alas, as a grown-up, I don’t know. I must constantly reaffirm my concreteness. People, most especially my wife, proclaim that I am invisible. My peers consider me insignificant. I have continuously prove myself. Thus, I have to place little titles at the end of my name, add zeros to my bank account, and wear all these fashionable Italian clothes to give myself weight – else I could be carried away by the wind. As a child, I could believe in the existence of things which did not see – I had innocence and faith. But as a grown-up, even seeing does not necessarily mean believing. Today, I learn that everything I know is false. Everything is unreal. Even dreams. Mister Snuffleuppegus was an “imaginary friend.” As a grown-up, I have learned the importance of “imaginary friends.” Without these invisible connections, how can I get ahead in life? How could I have gotten the job I have now?
I am Oscar the Grouch. Thanks to my wife, everyday is an off day. I get real grouchy, even with my children. Oftentimes, my mouth spews worms and testy language. I hate being with people. I’d choose to stay in my little trash can in my plush subdivision and never go out. I don’t need people. I don’t want to go out. I want to be left alone. To each his own.
I am Slimy. Everybody thinks I’m a worm. Especially girls. I don’t know what’s the big deal anyway. I have the money. I have the looks. Girls should love me. After I spend money on them. The world is my apple and I’ve eaten through its core.
I am Ernie. I always forget to say “10-Q” to people. They don’t deserve it. I just laugh at their faces. I love offending people, all for the sake of fun. I love playing games; games which my wife would not approve of. I enjoy taking baths – at the sauna. And every time go there, I always swim with my yellow, rubber d_cky.
I am Bert. Like Bert’s absurd bottle-cap collection, I too have a senseless diversion: I collect power, prestige and popularity. I try to please everyone. I try to be better than anyone. I answer to no one.
I am Grover. Whenever I do things, I easily “go overboard.” To satisfy my longing for excessive pleasure, I exhaust this planet’s resources. To ensure my economic and social position, I enact laws which retain the status quo: no to land reform, no to worker protection, no to equal rights. To strengthen my ego, I exercise prejudice against those with darker skin, flatter nose, curlier hair. To protect myself, I raise the walls of my house 40 feet high, employ a battalion of security guards, seal off my plush subdivision and forbid anybody who wears slippers and Pandas from entering it.
I am Elmo. I think I can get things by being cute and I do. Being handsome ensures my innocence and good standing. Looking like Aga Muhlach results in more opportunities for me. People who look good can never look bad.
I am Forgetful Sam. I have a convenient memory: it’s fractured, I forget the sins I’ve done to others. But I never forget other people’s debts.
I am the Count. I love counting. But I don’t like things that are easy to count; I don’t like wives because I can only have one. I love things that I can never tire of counting like money, cars, houses and mistresses. Life’s magnificence lies in the infinite.
I was raise on Sesame Street. I learned that the most powerful words you could know were just four letters long. That the most important numbers are the ones that have more zeros. That like Mr. Hooper, everybody dies. That in life everything is “brought to you today” by something or someone; everything is sponsored, life is one long commercial. That not everyone can “come and play” and that everything is not “A-okay.” How can I get away from Sesame Street?

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas


I just finished reading this book called Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas and let me tell you, it made me reach out for my phone and text my husband to tell him how important he and our son is to me at past 2 in the morning. (My family’s visiting my in-laws and I have work to do at home. Just in case you were wondering why I have to text my husband in the middle of the night.) That’s how compelling the story is. It was heart wrenching! I wasn’t aware that I was crying until a big sob escaped me and made think of how lucky I am that I have love to give and love given back to me. That no matter how painful death may be, life can still overpower it.
There was a part in the story that Suzanne almost lost Nicky to pre-eclampsia which reminded me how I bordered that line when I was pregnant with my twins. And how painful it is to lose a son and up to now I still torment myself with the “what ifs”. That I should learn to let go of the bitterness and concentrate o what’s now. My other baby boy. It’s hard being a mom, you have to be twice as tough as you normally are for you child’s sake.
Wait a minute. I’m already rambling. Maybe I just needed closure. I wish to find that, as Matt did, someday
.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Rookie

i've recently been acquainted to WWW. Thanks to my cousin JP for helping me figure things out.