Tonight's the night Chad died
I struggle not to cry.
It's sad to think a day ago
He was still so alive.
Sad to think that Janj and I
talk and dreamed and waited.
Sad to think that we had planned
of them for years ahead.
Prepared for them excitedly,
Pondered what to give them.
Little things parents do,
Of little angels like them.
Two sets of baby pillows,
to rest their baby heads.
Two sets of baby blankets,
to keep them warm in bed.
Booties and mittens,
Little caps for tiny tots.
Two sets of itty bitty bears,
To welcome them on the spot.
But never have i imagined
that one of them would leave.
Saying goodbyes were always hardest
So hard for me to breathe
The pain... the hurt and rage i felt
Not seeing them together.
So weird, they look exactly alike
But yet they are so different
Could never understand what happened
why he had to leave.
Praying in vain, "make him come back!
Back here close to me."
It's been two years since it had happened
And yet i still remember
How painful tears and memories
sorrow left so somber.
I wish i could forgive myself
From answering an unknown friend
And wish heaven could forgive
That voice on the other end.
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